What’s the strangest call or e-mail you’ve ever gotten from a listener? We put that question to radio broadcasters this week, inspired by WFRE Frederick, Md., PD/afternoon driver Jess Wright, who complained on Facebook about a listener who calls her regularly and leaves crazy voice mails telling her all about how his day is going and what he’s watching on TV!

The stories about nutty listener comments, questions and complaints have been flowing in since we put the question out there. Some are funny, some just downright creepy, and one simply bone-chilling. We also discovered two things. One, that there’s a surprising number of callers in all size markets who like to ask DJs for information, then accuse them of lying. And two, the tin foil hat conspiracy theorists can be found almost anywhere.

Following are some of the hazards of being on the air.

• Mark McGee, OM/PD/afternoon personality (KALF), Mapleton Communications, Chico, Calif.: “When I worked in Albuquerque, N.M., I was doing 7 to midnight and had some lunatic call almost every night accusing me of spying on him through the radio. He would call up and say, ‘If you don’t stop spying on me I’m calling the FCC and police.’ He would accuse me of watching him through the radio. It got to the point where he was calling management and making threats of legal action. The guy was just nuts. Eventually he stopped calling, but for a couple of months made everyone’s life hell.”

• Crash Poteet, mornings KJKE (93.3 Jake FM) Oklahoma City: “My favorite listener call of all time came in as one of those recorded inmate/prison notifications. Basically, it said, ‘You have a call from the state correctional facility. Press 1 to accept the call from inmate.’ At that point, the inmate was given five seconds to record his/her name. Instead of doing this, my caller took the five seconds to cram in his request, ‘Play some Merle, you bastard, and some Gene Watson … and God bless you!’ I quickly punched 1 to accept, but the line went dead. Figured the least I could do was play him ‘Mama Tried!’”

• Scott Lindy, OM/Clear Channel/Atlanta: “I once got a hand written letter from a lady who claimed that on certain days our station would help her hear alien transmissions from space. Really. This was at a Lite AC station. I was very tempted to throw on some Pink Floyd for her.

“One of my indoctrinations into the operations manager job here at Clear Channel Atlanta was last year when 640 WGST, our news talk outlet, was the Braves flagship station and we preempted Rush Limbaugh for a day game. We started the pre-game show at about 12:35 p.m. By 12:40 p.m. I had a dozen e-mails and a ton of phone calls. The range of emotion was from ‘What happened?’ to ‘You people are part of what’s wrong with this country!’

“One man took the opportunity to swear at me in the most creative and profound way that I had to let him continue. It was like he practiced it for days. The obscene verbal beating he gave me could have come from a Coen Brothers movie script. When he was done, I thanked him and told him that we are the Braves’ flagship station and that this was part of a contractual obligation and Rush was being streamed right now on our Web site and iHeart Radio. Then I got round two from him. It just got better and better. I wish I knew him in person.

“The funny thing is, that was the fifth year of a five-year contract, and those day games that preempted Rush had been going on for half a decade. Still, with every day game we broadcast the calls and e-mails would come flying in. But I never spoke to my potty-mouthed friend again, which kind of made me sad. He was so entertaining.”

• Tim Hattrick, morning co-host KMLE Phoenix: “For some reason, it seems like every time one of our listeners has their truck stolen they call us (seriously, once a month!), sometimes before they even call 911. I guess they think it’s likely that the truck thief would be still be listening to Tim and Willy. We don’t really care as long as they’re ‘on the panel!’ (Ha ha —PPM joke.)

“Once a woman called to have us help her get her truck back, but it was more than that. She said a vial containing her late husband’s ashes was tucked away in the visor of her stolen pickup. (BTW, doesn’t it make more sense to keep him in the ‘ash tray?’) I don’t think we ever found her truck or her husband.”

• Dave Hovel, operations director/PD/afternoons WXCY Wilmington, Del.: “This one is very odd. A regular listener (who called in all the time) called me one afternoon to let me know her husband had passed. After telling her I was sorry, [and] not knowing when to be quiet, I asked her where he husband was now. She said in the bed. She [had] called me before she called 911 because she knew he was gone. After several minutes of talking, I got her to hang up and call 911. Freakiest call ever!”

• Bill Dollar, PD/afternoons WLWI Montgomery, Ala.: “I have a lady that calls me every day and wants to know where the hurricane is that day. She always starts out the phone call with ‘Hey, let me ask you something,’ then proceeds to tell me that I am a liar when I tell her where the hurricane is.”

• Clint Marsh, GM WRSW-FM, WAWC (Willie 103.5) and WRSW-AM (ESPN 1480), Warsaw, Ind.: “I got a call from a listener one morning asking me if I would give her a wake up call at noon. She had a job interview, worked all night, and was afraid that she would oversleep and miss the interview. I called her, by the way.”

• Justin Case PD WZZK/WNCB Birmingham, Ala.: “There have been several over the years, both lighthearted and serious. We promote that you can ‘listen live on your computer.’ A woman called and said she can’t hear WZZK because she doesn’t have a computer. I asked if she had a radio? She said, ‘Yes, I’m listening to it now.’ Problem solved.

“This happens frequently: a listener calls you up on the phone [and] they give you a few lyrics (or the actual title) of a song. You tell them the title. Then they argue, ‘Nawh, that ain’t it.’ You politely assure them that is the song until they get mad and hang up.

“Also a frequent occurrence: the caller who calls you up and asks about a song you are playing, but it was not your station. But, they argue, they ‘ONLY listen to you,’ but you can hear another station in the background … and it is not even your format.”

Finally, Case recalls, “The lady who was (seriously) complaining that we were sending coded messages through our signal directly to her brain. She wanted the phone number and address of the FCC, which we gladly provided. Obviously, we don’t want our signal being compromised in that way and used to hatch nefarious plots.”

• Drew Walker, afternoons WUSN Chicago: “Got a Facebook IM asking about an Alan Jackson lyric that stumped me. I said I’d do a quick search and send them a follow-up. That wasn’t good enough. Listener: Can you ask Big John Howell? Me: Big John hasn’t been with US99 since 2006. Listener: I know, but can you still ask him? Funny, and also shows how much personalities can mean to a listener over their lifetime. I sent John the conversation (he’s doing mornings on AM talk across town). Too good not to pass on.”

Walker also recalls what he describes as this “very enthusiastic phone call.” Listener: Drew, I’ve got all the songs on the Drive @ 5, I want the Tim McGraw 7th row tickets! Me: OK, but what time is it right now? Listener: 4:54 Me (with a smile): How do you have all the songs when we haven’t started yet? Listener: Um … (click).

“I wish I had ESP like that.”

• Laurie DeYoung, mornings, WPOC Baltimore: “There are two listeners who both call regularly, one of whom my son swears would make a great feature during the night-time hours, I call him Sad Leo. Leo never really begins a conversation when you answer the request line, he’s always right in the middle of it. Here’s how it goes: Me: Good morning, WPOC Leo: Don’t you think ‘Crazy For You’ is just one of the most emotional songs you’ve ever heard?’ Me: ‘Crazy For You?’ Leo: Yeah, don’t you think that Madonna is really the only person who could deliver that song with that ache in her voice?’ Me: I think there are a lot of singers who can emote effectively in their music. Leo: Don’t you think ‘I’m No Stranger to the Rain’ is a sad song? And the conversation will continue until I say I have to go back on the air. His favorite topic is sad songs.

“Then there’s Barbara, and she lies about everything. She’s always saying it’s her birthday or her son’s birthday (they each, apparently, have several a year) or that she’s moving or starting/ending a new job or relationship. She has a hard time remembering the last thing she told us, but she does listen faithfully and typically calls several times during the show.”

• Kris Rochester, co-host, the syndicated Tony & Kris morning show: “The one I chuckle at is a man that called very angry when we were doing a ‘Birthday Contest’ game [in San Diego]. The game was we draw a date and, if it is yours, be the first caller and you win $10,000. We drew June 6th and had our winner. This listener called, irate, saying it was a rigged contest cause he did not get through. We told him that the lines jammed up with people and we had our winner. He said, ‘How many people in San Diego could have the same birthday as me, this thing is FIXED!’ He wrote several letters and called a lot, never understanding that [there are] only 365 days a year and several million in San Diego. Kind of chuckled at that one.”

• Joe McIntosh, mornings/sales classic hits KWCO (Kool 105.5) Chickasha, Okla.: “I was the all night guy in 1981 at KEBC in Oklahoma City. A guy called up for a request and I told him I had just played it and, by rule, could not play it again for at least two hours. He calmly said to me, ‘I know you live at the Greenway Square Apartments on the I-240 service road near May,’ and then gave me my apartment number. ‘Either play the f*&#ing song or I will go rape your wife, then kill your baby girl all before you get home at 6:15.’ I played the song … scared to death, and wanted to kill him, but I played the song. He called back and said, ‘See, that wasn’t so hard was it? Have a great night.’ I still fill with rage when I think of it and would give every penny I have to find him. It’s been 30 years and I still want a few minutes with him.”

• Adam Jeffries, APD/MD/afternoon driver, KJUG Tulare, Calif.: “Had a mother tell me how dare we play the Sugarland song ‘Down in Mississippi (Up To No Good)’ at KJUG because she knew they were talking about sexual positions when they referred to ‘asses’ and ‘elbows.’ I informed her they were talking about getting up the bar to get a drink and she stammered ‘Oh, OK.’”

• Jaymie Curtis, morning co-host, WXCL (104.9 the Wolf) Peoria, Ill.: “Every day I get a call from a poor woman at least once who is having anxiety attacks on whether there is going to be a thunderstorm during the day or night and for the next five days. Ummmm, we live in the Midwest. Did someone lie to her when she moved here?

“Also, I remember a co-worker of mine received a ‘love’ letter from a guy we saw convicted in the prior week’s newspaper for murder! Apparently, the prison there played our station only. Too bad they didn’t have ratings books.”

• Jay Thomas, radio veteran and former East coast regional with Treehouse Records: “While on air at WFLS Fredericksburg, Va., back in the day, I actually got this question from a caller on a snowy winter day: ‘What percentage of snow will melt today?’ Knowing that they think you know everything AND that any answer will satisfy these callers, I simply said 10. They thanked me and hung up.”

• Gerry McCracken, Cox Radio: Once got this odd call from a listener: “‘Hey man, there’s a rock in your tire. I know because I put it there.’”

• Gator Harrison, PD/morning co-host WGSQ Cookeville, Tenn. (and newly-named OM for Clear Channel/Chattanooga, Tenn., and PD for WUSY effective Aug. 2): “Had a listener call me and then send me a letter, both basically complaining about how Goodwill treats their employees unfairly and how I should do a show about it. Obviously I ignored both. Two weeks later, a pipe bomb went off in a couch inside the Goodwill store during business hours. Yup, same guy. Luckily no one was hurt. Glad I didn’t have to live with that. Crazy.

“We had a sweet elderly lady named Mary who called us every morning to talk about absolutely nothing,” Harrison continues. “She’d always say, ‘You carazy thangs.’ It started a catch phrase on the show, and eventually we gave listeners a chance to ‘Ask Mary’ anything. We didn’t hear from her for several weeks. We did some investigating and found out she had gotten sick and had been put into a nursing home. [Morning co-host] Styckman went by to see her and say hey in person. The nurses said that they had never seen her so happy or excited. She died later that week. You never know the impact you can have on a listener or the impact they have on you.”

Got a crazy listener story of your own? E-mail it to me at phyllisstark@radio-info.com or post a comment below.